Posts tagged ‘celebrities’

I’d say this is all random…but that would be cliche for me.

Late nite whatevers, I suppose I drank too much caffeine tonite…so here I am. Granted, if I went and laid down I am fairly sure I would be out in .2 seconds. I’m not giving in though. Sleep takes up entirely too much of life as of late. It’s becoming a sort of nemesis. I think in the end, it will still win. I never stood a chance. My computer is constantly challenging me about my language. Apparently, it doesn’t appreciate my lingual creativity. Why you gots to bring me down? Yea, it just tried to auto-correct that sentence. I denied it like what. No, that wasn’t a question. Tomorrow I will probably see this entry and find out it was all written in Spanish or some such nonsense. You never can tell what will roll out of your mouth at 2 am. I get into a nice vibe when i write to certain songs and turn into a teenage girl, repeating them over and over. It’s horrid…and necessary all at the same time. I’d like to drop some life changing information on you right now…but it’s not going to happen. Phhsh, you want some life changing info, find it yourself. What I have to say won’t matter as much as what you find on your own. There, even while trying to not be yoda, I’ve succeeded in failing. Fantasteriffic. NO, you may NOT auto-correct me, MAC! I love it for trying though. Curse the days of PC’s!
So, apparently some royals got hitched, an outlaw got caught. I’m not much on the news lately. Forgive me if I am skeptical of all the info provided to me by media outlets. It’s paranoia, I know. But is it justified paranoia…perhaps. Of course that is in reference as to weather Willy and Katie tied the knot. I saw no official documents. I won’t be had this time! Alright, this is just babble now.
I think the dog is getting impatient with me. He keeps sighing really heavily and looking at me. Rushed by a dog. This is messed up. I’m thinking I should win something soon. It’s about time. Been awhile. Just my luck it will be like a dental tray and a thing of mint floss. I hope it’s waxed. Lately I have this feeling that I am going to win everything. I think it might be false confidence. The world makes me have unrealistic expectations. It was this or thinking that I could be like a super model. I figured this was a healthier delusion…and I get to eat. Food really is the best thing since sliced bread…wait…I don’t think that works here. I read through a college guide today. You know, researching classes available to figure out what I want to be when I leave Neverland. There were classic course option such as: Equine pathology, advanced walking techniques I and II, Outdoor adventure education & spanish for the equine industry.  I kid you not. Remind me why college is valid any more? A college diploma is about as reassuring to an employer as an employee of the month plaque from Burger King. It really is a grab bag out there, folks. You never know what you are going to get. Granted, there are good colleges with courses with practical applications. This was obviously not one of them. I think those are few and far between and mostly end up caught in tornados and dropped outside of the continental U.S. (sorry Puerto Rico..that’s a no-go for you too). I’m just bitter…and realistic…but mostly bitter.
And on that note, I’m off to dream about celebrities. I don’t have a choice in the matter. Last nite, Claire Danes was a librarian. I’m pretty sure she was trying to help me escape. It was a mix between Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade and Anne Frank.  I think Dr. Elsa Shneider & I probably shared the same fate in the end. I don’t remember, but I have bad knees and always run like I’m about to have a heart attack in dreams.  On a good moral note, I wasn’t carrying a wooden goblet…so I am probably good on karma. If it’s a dream about high school, I’m going to be in a nasty mood tomorrow. There have been a lot of Heroes references in my dreams as of late. So, I might have super powers…like the ability to walk backwards really fast or bake things in the oven really, really speedily. Utterly useless. The dog is telling me lights out. I’m not even spellchecking…that’s how hardcore I am.

Insert something hilarious here, throw head back and laugh. Start to Choke and then regain control.

This is going to be contrived of completely random whatevers that might happen to have popped into my head as of late. I simply feel like writing…and I will not be denied. The other day I was pondering, and I realized that if David Bowie and Tilda Swinton had a baby, it would be the truly most androgynous child in the history of ever.

Bowie

Tilda

Bowie + Swinton = La Roux

Moving on, saw a helicopter the other day and had a sudden desire to go on an adventure. Maybe that’s my inner Rambo speaking. Better than my inner jean claude van damme talking. I think it’s best to keep that one smothered…with a big down pillow. AAAAnd here’s why…

Jazz Hands

Saw this on yahoo a couple days ago and think this would be stellar. Well, at least until it comes time to skivvy down. Then, maybe not so cool.

the bubble tent

By the way, I need to clean up all the dog deposits in my yard now that spring is rearing its lovely head. However, I was reminded of this because my neighbor was out doing it and then I felt too weird to “mirror” her  over the fence…so I didn’t. Neighbor -one…me – zero. You win this round, Lady. I think she’s just an enabler. Another note, ice cream truck…outside…ding-a-linging this afternoon. It’s not THAT spring yet. Meanwhile, Rita’s Water Ice opens in two days. What? It’s totally different. Oh shut up.

Monkey Doppelgangers

Ferrell monkeys everywhere.

One in the same

Hootie and the Blowfish

Henry Fonda

On Golden Pond Stylie

OH take a guess. I shouldn't even have to tell you.

wilford

Brimley

Wait for it....

Bam...Tina thunderdome

none other than...

Steve Buscemi...gotta love him

From undisclosed sources…

While procrastinating I decided to procrastinate. See, I’m multi tasking. Amazing, what you can get done when you aren’t doing anything.  So, I’ve decided that I am going to start doing this thing…when I feel so inclined…where I take celebrities and make up storylines based on whatever I feel like. See, Sean and I do this thing where we talk about Billy Barty all the time. Maybe I will take this to my twitter…but I make no promises. (Not really big on that medium..I get bored) So, todays dealies. It’s looking more like a TMZ situation.

Tangina from Poltergeist has decided to get a reality show about raising children. It is similar to Nanny 911…only there isn’t actually any experience to back up any of her advice. There was a lot of drama in the show because Tangina kept whispering to the children that their parents were lying to them, telling things only a child would understand.  This beastly behavior caused an uproar and the children revolted. night sticks were unharnessed and action had to be taken. Lawsuits have been taken. The show’s owners had no comments to make at this time.

Show's promo shoot

On a lighter note, John Travolta has said that he has been in Arizona for three weeks in an intense therapy compound coping with his issues with his role as Edna Turnblad in the movie Hairspray. He gets very confused when it is time to get ready for his day.  His wife, Kelly Preston, had this comment to make.  “John is in a very confused state and is learning  his personal style all over again. Let’s just hope it happens soon, because I am a size 4 and he is a 24. My clothes are taking a beating.”  Christopher Walken was in stitches the whole time saying, ” I think John looks great in florals.” He did receive a sneer and the cold shoulder from Kelly.  It’s very clear…that from Grease to Hairspray…John is in a sticky situation.

Travolta ejoys refreshments during a group session while another patient tells of his battle.

Walken lends support

And last but not least, it has been reported that Danny Devito has been arrested and is awaiting a trial after an incident Wednesday night.  Apparently, Devito was out with friends Michelle Pfeiffer and Michael Keaton and had a little too much to drink at the night club Ice Flipper, in NYC.  Afterward, The three went on a crime spree around the city throwing fish at taxis and screaming “Pee Wee is my father!” Things went awry after and unnamed party dared Devito to dawn his penguin apparel, smear some ink on his face and waddle around the NY Zoo. He received charges for trying to pin a button on an unsuspecting female Zoo employee and also for strapping little backpacks on the penguins. He was finally picked up from a dumpster behind the Penguin exhibit after he tried to flee by jumping  with his umbrella from the top of the structure that houses the penguins. He told the police, “This is my umbrella helicopter and you’re just jealous you don’t have one. When I’m mayor, you’ll all be sorry!” He then asked to be referred to as “Mayor Cobblepot” for the remainder of his stay in jail. No details have been confirmed about the unnamed party that dared Devito to embark on his escapade, but onlookers said that Christopher Walken was seen talking to the trio earlier in the evening. If true, Walken could be forced to have a recurring role as Reed Thimple in a Country Bears tv drama.

Zoo surveillance

I’ll let you know if there is any more breaking news on these and other stories in the future. That’s the end for now. Food, the show Dinosaurs, and laundry. Doing it up right.

The Irks…

Here I am. I’ve decided that I will start my entry off with a case of the “I don’t likes” and go from there. Commercials:

Urine L'eggs

Sounds bad to me. Next.

Slogan

Their newest model.

Remember it is important to use lotion daily.

The next complaint is about Cha cha cha…Charmin. They’re just alllll creepy. Every last one of their commercials.

FAIL

I’m done with my commercial rant.

Moving on…Music: Kings of Leon lately. Diggin that. Thinking they will be making a permanant home in my cd collection. Gave Them Crooked Vultures a trial run last nite. They’re a keeper. Michael says he thinks that they definitely sound like QOTSA. However, I think their sound is quite different…especially due to the John Paul Jones influence. Rock on witch yo badself.  Sorry. Out of my system.

Movies- Never and I mean NEVER watch The Haunted Air Pilot. I thought I would give Robert Pattinson a shot outside of the Twilight films because I don’t really think the actors in that movie are superb. Buuuut, I thought, meh, maybe he is decent outside of those flicks. Well, it wasn’t that he acted poorly…but that movie is painful. Literally, I can’t believe I managed to make it through. It was like running a marathon. The Hallmark channel wouldn’t air that thing. Fini on that note. I watched The Time Traveler’s Wife a few days ago. That was interesting. I can’t say I want to add it to my movie collection, but I didn’t wish for the two hours of my life back. So that’s good. I like the actors, but I find Eric Bana’s head shape distracting. Make a mental note  and take it all in next time you see him. It’s like his ears are trying to escape from his hairline but are being held captive. I’m glad my husband doesn’t disappear all the time leaving behind a heap of clothing. Sometimes I think that has happened to Michael, but then I find him in new garb in another room. Unless the new clothes are what he came back in from the future. I’ll have to pay better attention. Emery does the same thing sometimes. I’ll just find a trail of clothes from socks to the empty diaper sans toddler. He does then reappear naked in another room. He might be time traveling.

If I think of anything else, I’ll return later. I wouldn’t bet on it though.

It’s Thursday, it’s evil, it’s made with butter.

So, This weekend we’re New Yorking it. Should be fantastic. Haven’t been in a little bit. Something to look forward to. I really have no more to say about this topic right now. What a way to start my blog. FAIL.

On another very different note, Christopher Walken DOES indeed have a Twitter account. I can be happy in life again. Between Gary Busey, Stephen Colbert, Conan and Kevin Nealon…Twitter has been fan-fricken-tastic. Kevin Smith got deleted already because he wouldn’t stop posting. I couldn’t take it any more. It was like three pages of nothing but Kevin Smith crap EVERY time I got on there. And it was crap.

Dreams: College dorm, actually IN a school. Like kids were sleeping in the same building they took their classes in. So, visited friends went to class, oh yea, and found dead clowns in the public bathroom. Naturally in turned out to be one of the students, whom I knew. However, she was completely normal the whole dream…that is until she got caught and for some reason became a 20 inch miniature of herself. It was incredibly hard to pin down a person that small and get handcuffs on them. Just so you know. I’m pretty sure that is why Chucky got away with as much as he did.

They can get away with anything.

The Emery diaries. The last week and a half has proven to be very “interesting”  (if that’s what you want to call it) when it comes to Emery’s naughtiness. So Last week, he got into the bathroom and poured dog shampoo all over everything. Carpet numero uno I had to wash. Then Sunday came and he got into our bathroom while we were sleeping and poured body spray and lotion over the entire room. Carpet numero dos to wash.It still smells like raspberry perfume throughout the house. However, He poured the majority of the lotion and an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol down the toilet. Then yesterday, he waited until I was in the bathroom for a mere three minutes, and decided to run, open the fridge and remove the egg container. He then proceeded to take out two eggs and crack one of them over his head. ( From what I can tell, this is how it went down. I only had the after effect to draw conclusions from.)  So, there was a big egg splotch on the floor (carpet numero tres) and he was COVERED. Literally, his whole head was dripping with egg. He looked a little something like this:

slimed

The egg that got away.

It was definitely on the gross side.  So now all my carpets are washed, bathrooms are scrubbed down and Emery is super squeaky clean.  Let’s hope he lays off for a bit.

Moving on, watched Oklahoma! last nite. I remembered it being better. I don’t know why that is.  It couldn’t have been THAT spectacular before. However, it had its moments. I found it freakish when I realized that the main character is the mom from the Partridge Family. I don’t know why that blows my mind…but it does. Apparently in OK, if you have $50 you can marry anyone you choose.  Interesting. I am pretty sure the times have changed. I will have to look on Wikipedia to see what they say.

BEFORE

AFTER

something to ponder. How did Michael Jackson make it in to the remembrances at the Oscars? Baffled.