Feeling a tribute to all things musical coming on. The more shows and concerts we go to, the more I realize how much I missed seeing live music. I took a 5 year hiatus from concerts thanks to Ozzfest 2003, which left a more than bitter taste in my mouth. What a group. But then something happened. Michael joined a band. Naturally, I wanted to start going to his shows. While there, I had a mini-epiphany…a minipiphany if you will. The reason I stopped going to shows was because of the people attending…which wasn’t why I was there to begin with. I stopped going for all the wrong reasons. So now I am going for all the right ones. I’m there for the music. I’m not at a concert because the lead singer is hot, or I might get to shake hands with fame. I couldn’t care less about that aspect. Fame is fleeting, looks are too. Music is infinity. What and who a person is changes. A song, however, remains in tact, exactly what it was 5, 10, 50 years ago. I’ve realized in my music evolution (and it’s been an embarrassing ride at times) that I look back at stuff I listened to and grimace. It’s not the music that has changed though, it’s me. It correlates with my evolution as a human being. I look back and cringe at how I was in high school. I think we all do, or at least sort of should. We were fickle, naive, illogical..which is exactly what my music tastes were at times. Your music tastes say a lot about the person that puts that cd in the player ( or chooses a song on the mp3 player, to keep up with the technologically savvy).  My music evolution, much like the defining of my life has been a bumpy ride. I started out with the rebellious, loud, improper and transitioned into the mellow, relaxed, calming tunes. Just like life, when I was younger I was free to do as I pleased .Then as a parent I was tethered to life, and it was calm and serene, just like my music. Now that my son is older and can do more for himself, I’m able to branch out on my own more and live a little more separate at times. My music tastes have come full circle, but have balanced. A little rebellious, a bit heavier, but still mixed with the tranquil songs that evoked stability and constancy.  While an in-studio environment provides a more technically “perfect” performance, I really missed the live experience, the unpredictable and spur of the moment sounds. And what’s even more unexpected was that I did miss the crowds. Turns up I was just at the wrong shows  in my music infancy. My first notice of this was at my first Clutch show following my concert absence. The crowd was alive, and completely enveloped in the music. There was a palpable camaraderie as well. Everyone was there for the music, not for a light show or to see the latest trends. I didn’t need anything signed or to get a picture with the band. That’s not why I was there. I don’t know the band, I know the music. I highly respect the band that made that music, but I don’t pretend to be on personal terms with them.

After my realization, I’ve decided that I am going to try to absorb as many shows as possible, my musical osmosis. There won’t be any more hiatuses or lapses in my presence at shows from here on out (if humanly possible) . I’m in it for the long haul. If you were to ask me why I love the music I do, I would tell you  genuineness.  It’s knowing that when a band, or singer stands on a stage or in front of a mic in a studio, that they feel what comes out. That’s what I get out of live shows. It’s standing in a sea of people taking in something tangible, something truly authentic. That’s what makes good music. That’s why I’ll be standing in the audience.

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