I did that Halloween thing the kids have been talking about. Well, I went to Michael’s show tonite to see his band Blackhand. They were quite spectacular if I do say so myself..and I do. I am apparently in the promotion department now. What’s that, 4 times tonite I have mentioned them on the internet? If you look under yahoo’s “What’s trending” tab, you will find their band name. That’s all me. That was also a joke, they aren’t really there…so don’t look. It’s probably something wretched like Jersey shore cast and lithuania. Only one of those is wretched…and it’s not the latter.  There has to be like 9 pop culture items or people on that list and one that you just can’t wrap your head around.  I think they’re just messing with us. So, any who..Saturday was another of Michael’s shows. We went down to Middletown, DE and watched a bunch of bands play.  All in all it was good. It was absolutely cold though. I’m such a wimp. But seriously, this girl doesn’t like being cold. Three scenarios that equal me unhappy and heading toward the nearest door. 1. my nose, fingers and toes have all gone numb from bitter temps, 2. I’ve just gotten something spilt on me..(eg….but not limited to…beer, drinks of any kinds, sauces, food, animal waste products) If i get peed on by pets, all bets are off. I’m going home.  3. crowds. I make exceptions for this last one. However, it has to be a REALLY good exception…like a concert…or gathering with phenomenal food. A dessert tray could bring me to my knees. Behold the power of pudding.  Moving on. Tomorrow I am making Pumpkin turkey chili. It is going to rock the socks off of any other pumpkin dinner I have made thus far…which is none. So, it’s only up from here. Well, unless I massacre it. I won’t let that happen though. I have too high hopes riding on this. What a strange, whirl wind of a weekend.  To end, an article about zombies.

If I were a zombie:An Essay

If I were a zombie, I’d pay special attention to my hair. I wouldn’t have a lot to take pride in, so I would treat my hair as my shining attribute. That is unless my hair had been severely damaged in the fight for survival (which I obviously lost). Previously existing zombies-1, new zombie candidate-nil. Well done to them. If I was a zombie, Iwould try to eat only well educated humans because I would be a snob and require only the best. I guess I would be considered a foodie. I’m not sure if I should be proud of that. Since I am a zombie in this scenario, I probably don’t have to worry about pride any more. If I was turned by a Frenchman, I would be a “Sombie”…because French people always have to try to make everything sound snooty…even the living dead. In all actuality, it would be “Zombi”. I guess they found the “e” unnecessary. One time I am finding the French to be reasonable. I concur. Unlike “un écoeuré écureuil”..which is a disgusted squirrel, in case you were wondering. Fail on that one.

If I were a zombie, I would always wear a comfy velour track suit. I would be running after people all the time any way, so it only makes sense. I would probably look faster standing still too. This would give me the upper hand because the other zombies would see me and think, “I better not race her to get that human. She looks awfully fast.” Note to self, get really good all terrain running shoes. If I was a zombie, I’d start an olympics for zombies. Sorry, it wouldn’t be EOE. No living people allowed. I think I would make the move to Africa If I were a zombie.Probably Zambia or Mozambique. I like themes. I would probably look into the plastination process (eg.bodyworlds) and see what they could hook up for me. I think it would preserve my body for a little longer, but might be a bit stiff. Research will be done.  I would keep my makeup done all the time so maybe it would take the living longer to realize I’m not on the up and up. Another advantage. I’d probably make a great zombie, but they have short attention spans and I find that annoying. So, I’m going to have to opt out of this limited one time offer. But if I change my mind, I already have it all planned out.

Advertisements