The title is a complete fabrication. Except the soap, that was real…it’s Emery’s bath nite. My idea of friday nite “mayhem” is chasing my two year old across the living room and doing the victory dance because I can run faster. Oh yea, there’s something to be proud of. In all actuality, he is quite fast. He has short legs though, so I guess it’s not really fair. Sigh…I take pride from what I can.

Pride is a six letter word & worth 14points

Ok, dream last nite. Took Emery to the toy store to try to find him a cool action figure. (Which is hard to do) They all suck. We’re going to have to go old school and order them off ebay. Batman and Spiderman will be ours!!! Maybe this time Emery won’t pop the leg of Spiderman and make him dance around the house all amputee stylie from here on out. That would be a step in the right direction, me thinks. Ok, back to the dream. So, after that I went solo and ended up in a trailer park where a mad man was recreating the scene from American Psycho with the chainsaw…Only everyone had pants. relief. It really just seems like common sense. DO NOT RUN NAKED WITH A CHAINSAW. Seriously. Any who…turns up, chainsaws can’t hurt me in dreams. I’m invincible. I can’t say the same for my nemesis.

shoes

PRIORITIES

You just don’t run with a chainsaw. It ends on a bad note 9 times out of 10.  I know I’m repeating, but maybe my repetition will save someone’s life some day when they go to break out in a brisk jog with the chainsaw in their hands and then stop to think…”What was it Megan told me to never do? Oh, that’s right, I should turn off the chainsaw first. And where are my pants?” It’s a life saver. Then I ended it by taking refuge in an Amish family’s house. They are going from weird to “you sound like you’re just making that up.” I swear I’m not.

I’m one of those people that convinces myself that I AM going to win sweepstakes and whatnot. I seriously have been known to plan my schedule around the times that I think the prizes will be awarded. It’s so not healthy. Publishers Clearing House could put a person in therapy. Based on the fact that I already think I am going to win ANYTHING, I probably already belong in therapy. Maybe I can will winning into existence. I’m pretty sure The Secret says that’s how life works. Just be optimistic about everything and you will get everything you want. However, I’m pretty sure they were just willing people’s $20 out of their hands and into deep pockets. Well done, well done indeed. That’s the Secret.

On another note, I am disappointed Christopher Walken doesn’t have a twitter account…and at the same time proud. He is stronger than I am. They lured me in with…shocker…a sweepstakes. This is a low point in my life. However, I think it has been worth it just to read Conan O’Brien’s posts.COB Good stuff right there. You should also know, I did not win the sweepstakes. Life isn’t fair.

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